Archive for March, 2010

24
Mar
10

The Commitments (1991)

I am a sucker for a movie about musicians. Everything from That Thing You Do! to the TV miniseries The Temptatons I have devoured and loved. The 1991 film The Commitments, is one that passed my radar and for good reason: it was 1991 and I was too busy being five years old and playing with wrestling figures (as opposed to now being 23 and playing with wrest…I mean lifting weights), plus it’s never on TV. My roommate, who is also a big fan of movies about music, decided to fire up the ol’ Netflix Watch Instantly on his Xbox 360 and put this one on, saying it would be worth a watch. Planning to go to bed, I said I’d give it twenty minutes and then I was out. Two hours later, the movie is over, and I am wowed. The Commitments may possibly be the best (and most realistic) movie about a band ever made.

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16
Mar
10

Antichrist (2009)

The first five minutes of the 2009 Lars Von Trier film Antichrist is a slow motion black and white “prologue” to his full story and features not only full on penetration but a toddler jumping out of a window to his death. Now if I was going to start a movie, that is definitely the way I’d go. However the rest of the movie? Not so much. Filled to the brim with pretentiousness, storytelling that can best be described as “completely ridiculous”, and two scenes that will challenge your gag reflex, Antichrist is a very loud misfire and a movie better left unwatched.

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16
Mar
10

Bronson (2008)

Regardless of the fact they drink too much tea and we made them weep during the Revolutionary War, England has some really cool qualities to it, especially when it comes to films. They have their own style down there, and occasionally films such as Fish Tank or anything Guy Ritchie directs will come to the States and remind us of this. Bronson, the 2008 film starring Tom Hardy (Handsome Bob from RocknRolla), is another one of these English imports and although it got a small release in October of 2009, it wasn’t widely seen by the public…that is, till now (because I’m the public)!

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11
Mar
10

Wrong Side of Town (2010)

Being a slave to your fandom can be a horrible, horrible thing. If you have ever read anything I’ve written on my other sites, you know that I am a wrestling fan. Because of this, I tend to watch movies that feature wrestlers. Everything WWE Films produces, crappy straight to DVD movies, guest spots, whatever. I’ve already watched one this year (the Steve Austin straight to DVD crapfest Damage), and the latest in this line is Wrong Side of Town, a movie starring wrestler Rob Van Dam, and featuring Batista and Viscera in supporting cameo-ish roles (despite what the DVD cover tells you, he appears in three scenes). To put it bluntly…this movie sucks out loud.

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03
Mar
10

Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003)

Disney, as far as I’m concerned, can suck it. Growing up, I was a Looney Tunes guy, spending my cartoon watching days plopped on the sofa watching Bugs, Daffy, and the host of other (and many potentially racist) characters have crazy adventures and inflict violence on each other that would have been horrific to view in real life. Hell, I’ll even tune into Space Jam whenever it’s on, because of the untapped comedy potential that is Charles Barkley as an actor. In 2003, the Looney Tunes property made its return to the silver screen with the film Looney Tunes: Back in Action and I avoided it like the plague because I wanted to know what vaginas felt like (I was still a few years off…you’re welcome for that knowledge). Now, it is 2010 and technology hath bringith to me another chance to watch this film…and all in all, I kind of regret it.

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